Recent Reviews

Call Quentin Tarantino a hack molester of beloved exploitation films if you want but you can’t deny the guy’s style has been hugely influential, or at the very least, often imitated. And no one churns out weird mutations of film that poorly imitate the originals like those wacky Asians. Veteran actor Stephen Yip, best known for his roles in a veritable scad of chop socky movies (not the least of which is the inept gross out  flick Centipede Horror), directed the bizarre Mad Stylist which nods to and perverts several well-known films from QT’s oeuvre.

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AKA: Zombie Rival: The Super Ninja Master, here’s some incredibly awful super-crap that’ll have you popping corn in hysterics and just one of 1000’s of movies (probably) shat out by Hong Kong producers Joseph Lai and Betty Chan in conjunction with the insane Godfrey Ho.

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When you start a film off with exploding heads, severed limbs that spray arterial blood like a garden hose, and a chainsaw fight, you can be pretty sure that a film is going to be over-the-top and live up to the word gore in its name.

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Presented by Cinemax and adapted from Michael Lesy’s book of the same title, true crime lovers and watchers of the real and macabre will bug-out big time at the shopping list of bad luck, ill fate and fatal superstition presented by this Hands On / BBC2 Arena documentary which concerns itself with a rash of strange suicides, murders and misdeeds committed around the town of Black River Falls in Wisconsin between the years 1890 and 1900.

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In the wake of 1992’s LA riots, has there ever been a more pointed commentary on police brutality than the thought-provoking Psycho Cop 2: Psycho Cop Returns? Perhaps there is, but I don’t want to know about it.

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A Christmas horror movie where Santa Claus kills Fran Drescher and Chris Kattan in the opening scene has at least two things going for it. Fortunately for Santa’s Slay it not only provides Santa a chance to kill off two of the most irritating people of all time, it’s surprisingly enjoyable ride.

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Not only has this limp, bloodless, Italian horror got a just plain genius title, it’s sexy star Rita Calderoni (who has a bush to rival Linay Romay’s) actually does get nude for satan. In fact, while she and her doctor pal (James Harris) are stranded at a remote castle, she gets nude a whole lot, whether she’s washing, having a nightmare, walking the dog or peeling the spuds, she’s as nudey as ya’ like.

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As Clint Eastwood nears his eighties I found it curious that the iconic movie tough guy would choose to take on a role where the trailer shows him as a cranky old man, shouting that cliched old line at some teens: "Get off my lawn!" Taken out of the context of the film the line is funny, and I admit it's one of the things that piqued my interest in Gran Torino.

In the context of the film it's not funny at all. It's not the only thing Walt Kowalski (Clint Eastwood) says to the hoodlums that have ventured onto his lawn, and it's a downright chilling moment in one of the best films I've seen this year.

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Pick two numbers between 1 and 5. Add those together and that’s probably how many movies this pile of Hong Kong action tat is made out of. Funny as hell for all the wrong reasons, this is more senseless, stoopid, badly dubbed ninja-poop ‘starring’ poor old Richard Harrison and gigantic Mike Abbott (American Hunter—87) and is yet another cut ‘n’ paste kung fu stew from Joseph Lai’s IFD company.

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Boasting “AMAZING ANIMATED SPECIAL EFFECTS!” (at least that’s what the box says), Actium Maximus is a compelling sci-fi socio-political drama with lots of awesome goop-drooling space monster puppets in a land of model cities blue-screened badly behind people running around dressed in goofy alien masks. It’s an intense tale of intrigue played out with space triceratopses that walk as deftly as the battery-operated Spydor toy that my Skeletor action figure used to ride and a megalomaniacal talking box with eyes—the Grand  Automaton PolPox—and his army of hovering stalagmites with tentacles.

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Crazy Hong Kong action with international star Chow Yun Fat. Watch as Chow Yun woos the ladies and smacks them around, dresses like a Vegas lounge lizard, wields a yo-yo shotgun, and wets his pants.

You’ll also get Conan Lee as his buddy-cop partner. Conan may not be as smooth with the ladies, but he does get to tear up the place in some terrific kung fu battles and an epic chainsaw duel.

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A fast talking con-man with ‘the gift of the gab’ (Noel Madison) forms a hate group called The Avenging Angels, and with the help of a fat, crooked governor, attempts to take over America (state by state) by selling fascism disguised as patriotism and national pride (sound familiar?).

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Supercop ACP Jai Dixit is back, and this time he's after a renowned thief known only as Mr. A, a criminal so devious and ridiculous that he parachutes out the sky, dresses up like an old lady, and then beats people up with a yo-yo snowboard.

While the original Dhoom was stupid, Dhoom 2 catapults the franchise into a world of cinematic hurt even I wasn't expecting. What did I ever do to you to deserve this, Bollywood?

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Normally, I’ll give any $4 crock of D.I.Y shot-on-video horror flik the vast benefit of the doubt and press play to see what the deal is, but this… pitiful lump of Texan, no budget, living dead poo from ‘Cemetery Cinema’ made me wanna’ press eject within minutes. Ok, I know it’s not intended to be high art, or even basic trash, and it’s obviously a labor of love made by friends, but god damnit, there’s only so much footage of the same 10 zombies coughing up ketchup any mere mortal can withstand.

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When a band of fast and furious (or at least disgruntled) bikers get tired of their day jobs waiting tables at a pizza place, they go on a robbing spree that has the entire Mumbai police force up in arms. Only supercop ACP Jai Dixit (Abhishek Bachchan) and his shades can stop them before they rob again, and again. And again, because it takes him a quite a while to stop them.

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Lead-brained action/exploitation filmed in the Philippines by an all Italian crew and starring Richard Randall, Brigitte Porsh, Peter Hinz and creepy little Ratman (84) himself—Nelson De La Rosa. Low budget and pretty haphazard, much of the plot revolves around a renegade South American army general who wages a personal war against poppy field farmers and ‘contra’ jungle rebels, so you’d be right to expect green-inferno fire-fights, booby traps, helicopters, thrown grenades, shouts of “Nooooooooo!”, machine gun battles and bouts of blocky martial arts from CIA commando Randall and plucky reporter Porsh.

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If you’re seeking out the indescribably weird, The Boxer’s Omen is a must-see. An insane Hong Kong cocktail of disgusting Thailand black magic, Buddhist spirit-fu, and a bit of martial arts, movies just don’t come much weirder than this one.

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Crazy rubbish urban kung fu mess shot in the run down part of NYC and starring Charles 'La Pantera' Bonet as a pint sized, tracksuit wearing karate nut who fights slum landlords when they shut off his water, gas and heating.

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More directionless martial arts crap from the diabolical duo of Producer Tomas Tang and Mr. Ho, this time starring Stuart Steen, Louise Roth, Christine O’Hara and fight choreographer Kent Poon.

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Princess is definitely not your average animated movie, and it's not your average revenge flick either. 

The animation style is somewhat simplistic but it works. The flashbacks that are presented in actual film—not animated segments—are jarring, and prove effective and unsettling.

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