Hellroller

A friend of mine once used the phrase "There's not enough alcohol in the world" in relation to watching another horrible movie, and I think it's a fitting description for Hellroller. If you must watch it, don't do it sober. Actually, don't watch it at all unless you're being forced to see it at gunpoint.

If for some reason you ignore my advice I suggest taking notes of the names in the opening credits. You may want revenge on these people later. The concept for the movie is pretty damn stupid, but a talented director, writer, and cast might have made something mildly interesting out of it. Unfortunately it becomes clear after about one or two minutes that the combined talent of everyone involved is considerably less than that of Ed Wood, Uwe Boll, or Carrot Top.

Eugene is the Hellroller, a wheelchair-bound homeless man with some serious mental issues. He was left in this condition as a baby after his hooker/homeless mother was raped and killed by some conjoined twin hoboes (really) in the least disturbing rape/assault scene ever committed to film. It's hard to feel any sympathy or empathy for Eugene or anyone else in the movie because the acting from everyone involved is so abysmal.  The actor playing Euegene is obviously committed to the role, but it's equally obvious that he should be looking for another line of work.

Much of the film is played for laughs but never manages to be funny. News updates of Eugene's exploits as he terrorizes the non-homeless "normal" people of the city is brought to the hapless viewer by channel KRAP 69. That's an example of what the people involved thought was hilarious writing, and it's about as funny as the movie ever gets. Be on the lookout for the king of the bums and his wonderful Marlon Brando Godfather impersonation. It is only equaled by the mad doctor performance put on later in the movie by the same actor.

The movie is also horribly shot and directed, but the acting, writing, and special effects will probably distract you from noticing that to some extent. The only way to distract yourself from the acting, writing, and special effects may be to press stop and put on a better movie. Not recommended for anyone unless it's being used as an example of exactly what not to do when making a movie.

Hellroller doesn't deserve stars. I give it one stupid-looking animated wheelchair from its own opening credits.