Some films inspire people to do things. At their best, they can inspire deep feelings, heartfelt actions, and art beyond the film itself.
Beyond the Lost World might actually accomplish some of these things, but not because it sets out to do so. No, it might inspire feelings, but they'll probably be rage or depression. It might inspire actions, such as throwing your copy of the film on a roaring fire. And it might inspire art, but only because a viewer will think “Jesus, I can make something better than this movie.”
Peter Spelson is Rocky Fosco, a Chicago city barber with a big quiff, sideburns and a pimp moustache. He drives around drunk listening to crap country music and fixes his hair a lot. Real life Insurance salesman Spelson wrote and produced this very bad, no budget supernatural psychic killer flick with his pal Jack M. Sell (the guy responsible for the music, editing and direction).
The Spermulites of the planet Spermula are threatened by a bigger, tougher planet. So, needing a new space ball to call home, the weedy Spermulon leader ‘Big Mother’ sends some Spermulonion beings (in female earth human disguise) to earth so they can suck up all the male human sperm they can get their lips on. No, I ain’t fucking high, that’s the odd plot of this quite arty, certainly fartsy outer-space boot-knocking opera from erotic French producer Bernard Lenteric.
Sexy, spunky, one-time porn goddess Marylin Chambers stars as Harmony, a super-smooth, super-bendy, highly lethal ‘protector’ and secret agent who guards the free world’s ‘First line of defense’ against ‘Satan’s Hordes’.
When you start a film off with exploding heads, severed limbs that spray arterial blood like a garden hose, and a chainsaw fight, you can be pretty sure that a film is going to be over-the-top and live up to the word gore in its name.
Boasting “AMAZING ANIMATED SPECIAL EFFECTS!” (at least that’s what the box says), Actium Maximus is a compelling sci-fi socio-political drama with lots of awesome goop-drooling space monster puppets in a land of model cities blue-screened badly behind people running around dressed in goofy alien masks. It’s an intense tale of intrigue played out with space triceratopses that walk as deftly as the battery-operated Spydor toy that my Skeletor action figure used to ride and a megalomaniacal talking box with eyes—the Grand Automaton PolPox—and his army of hovering stalagmites with tentacles.
Bloodfist in Spaaaaaace! Well, it's Bloodfist in the future. Or it could be Bloodsport. With a hero from space. It's set on Earth, mostly. Or in some warehouses that are supposed to be a futuristic cyberpunk kind of Earth, but tend to look like places that were abandoned the night after a rave. Don't worry, it's more stupid-looking than confusing.
Eden Log is an atmospheric sci-fi/horror film from French director Franck Vestiel. It was the subject of mixed reviews at Toronto International Film Festival '08. The slow pacing, particularly in the first half, may be off-putting to some. Give it a chance and you just might like it.