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The Fast Kill

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The Fast KillI'm no architect, so I've no real idea what you'd call the floor below the bargain basement - a place where this shot-in-London crime/heist rubbish should reside. Tom Adams (the poor man’s James Bond) plays Max, a suave, snooty bank robber with a tight suit and a Rolls Royce who assembles a crack team of morons for a diamond/airplane job.

The Million Eyes of Sumuru

The Million Eyes of Sumuru

Filmed partially in Shaw Bros Hong Kong studios, produced by Harry Alan Towers and based on characters created by Fu Manchu author Sax Rohmer, here's a vintage slice of ice-cool girl power spy action starring 60's uber-fox Shirley Eaton as chinese devil woman Su Maru—a homicidal villain with an obedient army of killer hellcats worthy of any 007 outing.

Belly of the Beast

Belly of the Beast

Elvis Presley...., sorry, Steven Seagal is secret agent man Jake Hopper, a kung fu good guy (with clazy mullet) who goes on a violent, tubby revenge trip when bad men from terrorist group Abu Karaf kidnap his brat daughter while she's sunning her arse on a backpack trip in Thailand. Ho hum.

Wake of Death

Wake of Death

When shady club owner Ben Archer's wife is murdered, he'll stop at nothing to get back at the Triad members who did it. It's JCVD versus Simon Yam in this surprisingly violent—and even more surprisingly, decent—revenge flick.

Wisconsin Death Trip

Wisconsin Death Trip

Presented by Cinemax and adapted from Michael Lesy’s book of the same title, true crime lovers and watchers of the real and macabre will bug-out big time at the shopping list of bad luck, ill fate and fatal superstition presented by this Hands On / BBC2 Arena documentary which concerns itself with a rash of strange suicides, murders and misdeeds committed around the town of Black River Falls in Wisconsin between the years 1890 and 1900.

Submerged

Submerged

Tub-o-lard (and current winner of the fat Elvis lookalikey contest) Steven Seagal is Cody, a flaccid army-man released from jail to head a Dirty Dozen (67) mission in a hectic action thriller that pulls no punches in a buzzy, souped-up story about neo-cortex thought projection and remote controlled assassins.

The Vanguard

The Vanguard Poster

There's no lack of post-apocalyptic zombie films in the world.  Lately there's been no lack of virus-turns-humans-into-fast-moving-zombie films.

The Vanguard is one of these films, but it's different enough to be interesting. First, there's no attempt to be stylish or cool. Unless you think a guy tooling around the post-apocalyptic woods on his Schwinn in ripped jeans and shades is cool (hint: it isn't).

In Bruges

In Bruges

In Bruges is a black comedy that takes the time to develop its characters and get the viewer emotionally involved in the story.  I've never been a fan of Colin Farrel but if he did more work like this things could change.  Brendan Gleeson, on the other hand, is merely great as usual.

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