Angel of H.E.A.T.

Sexy, spunky, one-time porn goddess Marylin Chambers stars as Harmony, a super-smooth, super-bendy, highly lethal ‘protector’ and secret agent who guards the free world’s ‘First line of defense’ against ‘Satan’s Hordes’.

Chambers does erotic martial arts (while completely nude!) during the jaw-dropping opening credits which pretty much gives you a clue as to where the rest of the movie may be going, which is exactly where it does go - fast. When it’s not choking on it’s own sense of exaggerated farce, it gets sillier and sleazier by the stolen 007 idea filled second, piling on the idiocy and filling the frame with mucho cut-price action and intrigue as well as a generous helping of double-D bollock naked crime-solving justice. KAPOW!

The plot—about a typical Bond villain (played by a sugar filled Dan Jesse) is squeezed out slow and ganky like a blackhead but don’t let that stop ye watching Mary Woronov (Eating Raul—82), a ninja spy, subtitle jokes, mind control, insulting humour, laughable gadgets, loud mud wrestling and gigantic crappy computers.