Submitted by DF Dresden on 10/01/08
Astoundingly inept half price horror from crock-jock Milligan. Again, it's shot in a tiny house, is badly lit, filmed, recorded,scripted, acted and it's another re-run of his much used plot about a squabbling family of vampires / werwolves, a suprising secret, a considerable will and a sequence of amature dramatics that'd be boo'd off stage at an infant school play.
Dr. Olofski (Allen Berendt) and his family of ugly monsters move into a new house and start growing rubber plants that produce blood (wha?). The basement is soon full of them, and within minutes the vampire vegetables are snacking on the weirdo clan - a witch (in full clown makeup) and a beardy assistant who, in pretending to be a dwarf, spends the entire movie shuffling about on his knees! Whether hidden behind a table or taking an age to turn around - it's just a guy on his knees! It's a typical off-world Milligan touch and a fine contribution to the realm of cinema and something you have to witness to believe.
Most of the time, you can actually hear the chalky dialogue and fake english accents, but much of the plant action has an ambient backbeat of breaking wind and rubbed leather which is just feckin hilarious. Fur lovers should note the kitchen scene with a cleaver and a real mouse as Milligan repeats his cheap-shot rodent 'snuff' trick first used in The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here! (72).
Ooooh, I'll have to check it
Ooooh, I'll have to check it out. I lurves me some horrible vampire movies.
So far, I think Razor Blade Smile has been the best(worst?):
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0159693/
I mean, how can you go wrong with a vampire that uses her career as a hit woman to hide her feedings?
It may be harder to find than
It may be harder to find than some of the other films we've reviewed. dresden scanned the art from his VHS because I couldn't find any decent poster art for it.
Milligan Movies
are a different kettle of rancid, stinky fish altogether...
RAZOR BLADE SMILE is a movie made by people who LOVE movies, you can tell, it's cheap, don't take itself too seriously and at least attempts to 'tell a story' with measured outbursts, half a sceenplay, style and some effective, imaginative scenarios
Milligan on the other hand, HATED movies..
hated making them, hated the format and all the 'business' that went with it, he made films simply to pay the rent and skimped on everything - going so far as to write, shoot, score, edit and do the FX, sound recording and even the costumes for his tatty, dark productions.
He even shot the films in his own house to save on location expenses, filmed with a well worn, contantly jamming ancient camera and used the 'ends' of spare film reels from anywhere - which is why his movies constantly jump cut, and change 'look' - he was shooting on scraps of unmatched old/new film stock and edited the resulting crap with a shovel........
His movies can be called VERY terrible and most are really rotten, bad, one-take, moronically scored features with muddy sound and no redeeming features whatsoever...
except the fact that Milligan's hatred of everything seeped into his nasty, bitter, very personal stories which ALWAYS have a septic, crumbling family at its core -
as an idiot, I'm a massive fan of his (mostly 'lost') clunkers despite the fact they are hilarious, rubbish, fascinating, demented and shite... all at the same time.
Yes! Milligan's films are the
Yes! Milligan's films are the same kind of experience as suddenly having a very angry, stinking madman jumping in your face, grabbing your shoulders and screaming and ranting in your face - just with the possibility to survive the experience.
I guess that the description
I guess that the description "may be disturbing to some members of the Public" is accurate, even if "A SPINE CHILLER" isn't.
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