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Christina's House

Christina's House

Christina's House: a title that hardly inspires terror—much like the half-baked plot.‭ ‬It tries to make up for this by making every character in the film creepy in a bizarre attempt to confuse the viewer into wondering which of the creepy people is the killer.‭ As strange things happen, Christina begins to wonder if she is losing her mind like her crazy mother, or is something wrong actually happening? Could the killer be the creepy possessive borderline incestuous dad‭? ‬The creepy handyman who is constantly doing work on Christina's house for no apparent reason‭? ‬The creepy and amazingly unprofessional cop who shows up and screams at people‭? ‬Or perhaps it's Christina's creepy boyfriend who desperately wants to have sex with her,‭ ‬but who also likes to jump out from behind her and make her scream‭?

The creepiness of each character is accentuated by the poor acting.‭ ‬Not only are the characters supposed to be creepy,‭ ‬but most of the actors suck,‭ ‬rendering each creepy interaction into a boring and awkward affair.‭ ‬Unfortunately for the film,‭ ‬creepy characters‭ ‬+‭ ‬awkward scenes‭ ‬+‭ ‬poor acting does not equal scary.

The main selling point for the film seems to be Christina herself. She can’t really act, but she wears an assortment of tight outfits which may appeal to the viewer and definitely appeal to her father, who makes every attempt to be disturbingly close to her and keeps mentioning how good she looks. Her boyfriend acts in a similar manner and is generally such a jackass that it’s hard to understand why Christina is dating him. That doesn’t stop her from flashing some boobs during a brief makeout session and bubble bath scene.

So, without a real plot or good acting, the movie just relies on throwing red herrings at the viewer. Since each character is generally sleazy and potentially insane, you may find yourself wondering which of these twits is the serial killing villain. Then again you may find that you don’t care and just wish that the killer will kill everyone just to keep them from committing any more terrible acting.

Despite all the red herrings, it probably won’t come as a surprise to anyone who the killer is once the secret is revealed. This renders the climax into a ridiculously limp affair, particularly when we discover that Christina’s house contains a rather Saw-like bunch of torture contraptions and silly traps.

Canada has produced a number of low-budget and decent horror films like the Ginger Snaps series. Christina’s House doesn’t join these films in the ranks of things you should seek out and watch. If you happen to spot it in your local video store or in a bargain bin, it’s best to just pretend you didn’t see it and walk away.

One and a Half Stars for Christina's House