Submitted by Lurple on 07/19/08
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Having enjoyed the extremely bizarre trip into writer/director/producer Charles E. Cullen's head that was Super Badass, I decided that I needed to track down some more of his work. Could he achieve the same level of horribly bad yet funny and engaging weirdness twice? Would I once again be mesmerized and unable to turn away? Would there be puppets on drugs?
It turns out that Mr. Cullen is an incredibly prolific entertainer that puts out work at a rate only rivaled by the likes of Takashi Miike. He has even had his own public access TV show in Virginia, portions of which are now available on a DVD entitled "THE WORST TELEVISION SHOWS EVER MADE". This is a description I find all too plausible.
Eventually I was able to put my hands on a copy of Killer Klowns From Kansas on Krack, which Mr. Cullen's website describes in this way:
"After being fired from the rodeo, three clowns and a giant chicken get involved with mind-altering drugs that send them on a bloody rampage across Kansas. Pursued by a U.S. Marshall from Utah who specializes in clown cases, they become dangerously entangled with a swindling cult leader whose truck (full of scammed cash) they have stolen to pull their trailer. It's a crazed festival of guns, puppets, blood, rubber noses and dark humor . It's Killer Klowns From Kansas On Krack!"
I was only able to make it this far into the movie before I was ready to chew off my own limbs to escape:
"After being fired from the rodeo, three clowns and a giant chicken get involved with mind-altering drugs that send them on a bloody rampage across Kansas. Pursued by a U.S. Marshall from Utah who specializes in clown cases, they become dangerously entangled with a swindling cult leader whose truck (full of scammed cash) they have stolen to pull their trailer. It's a crazed festival of guns, puppets, blood, rubber noses and dark humor . It's Killer Klowns From Kansas On Krack!"
At this point rather than chewing off a leg I turned off the DVD and poured myself a stiff drink. The movie had been running for approximately 15 minutes, with the same horrible song looping brokenly in the background the entire time, and the clowns had spent almost the whole time crying. I think I knew how they felt.
I've finished watching some terrible crap but I don't think I can bring myself to finish watching this loathesome mess. Another hour of this? Do Not Want.
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To get some closure on this issue I am working on getting a guest review of this movie [Editors note: the DF dresden's review is now available]. You can also find out much more about Charles E. Cullen's work at his crazy website. A few of his films are now available through Netflix if you're daring and have a Netflix account.
