Enteng Kabisote

This bizarre Filipino fantasy film contains all sorts of things that sound interesting. Laser guns, flaming swords, martial arts, demons, irritating talking horses, ape/ninjas, and an interestingly dressed gay man-creature who calls himself Super Bird.

Sound good? Well, it’s not.

I found out about this film some time ago and had been curious to see it. One of the few IMDB comments available reads “This is probably the most senseless Filipino film ever made.” Since I’ve seen some astoundingly senseless Filipino films (like W is War), the challenge was on.

Enteng Kabisote is based on a long-running Filipino TV series and there are two prior, possibly related films.  The lack of backstory is one of the downfalls of the movie. The subtitles seemed accurate (the random English in the film was correctly subbed), but I didn't understand much that happened during the film. One of the women was apparently a fairy who had magic powers, and she was married to some guy who liked to whip things with a stick. Evil creatures in really bad costumes were planning to do something bad. A lot of the scenes played out in a completely disconnected fashion and there was no explanation of how the characters got from one scene to another, or why. The story, if there is one beyond the good guys beating the bad guys, is terrible.

Eventually the characters head out from our normal, present-day world and go to fairy land to fight, and fight, and fight. They fight everything I mentioned earlier, plus bees (well, people in bee outfits) that hug people after being cut and a king fu lizard lady. There are swords and axes and bows and arrows and kicks and punches. This part of the movie is a vast improvement but don’t let that trick you into thinking it’s any good. The fights are on par with your average episode of Star Trek.

What the hell was the deal with the talking horse? Or flamboyantly gay Super Bird, the sword-wielding wonder? I will probably never know. I’m sure not going to watch this again to find out. In the end good wins out and the Philippines are currently up to the third sequel (or prequel), Enteng Kabisote 4.  I don’t think I can handle watching another 6 hours of this crap.