Rollergator

Rollergator is sort of a zen film; absolutely nothing of interest happens. It just sits there existing for an hour and a half.

When a rollerblading girl befriends a talking purple alligator puppet, they have to work together to avoid an inept ninja and other pointless minions of strung-out carnival manager Joe Estevez.

Estevez gives an amazingly incoherent performance that had me convinced there was a clause in his contract requiring him to be fucked up at all times during the shoot. In a movie where "pitiful" and "horrible" are words you might use to describe the other actors, Estevez manages to stand out and earn an adjective more like "abysmal".

The film also features strident guitar music that overshadows every scene, making the drivel that passes for dialog hard to understand at times. The guitar player seems to become more desperate to drown out the boredom as the movie goes on.

Despite all this I find the film surprisingly inoffensive as far as bottom of the barrel fare goes. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but I've seen worse.