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The Fast KillI'm no architect, so I've no real idea what you'd call the floor below the bargain basement - a place where this shot-in-London crime/heist rubbish should reside. Tom Adams (the poor man’s James Bond) plays Max, a suave, snooty bank robber with a tight suit and a Rolls Royce who assembles a crack team of morons for a diamond/airplane job.

Mostly 'crime' dialogue, it’s endless shots of talking heads, giant telephones, sideburns and amature acting will coax yer finger towards the stop button within minutes. Resist the urge and run the risk of slipping into a coma (and missing the amazing head-trip music by Alan Gorrie) as Max and his chatty pack sit in flats, load guns, ride tiny motorbikes and fail to do anything that interesting other than machine gun a few 'Bobbies' during the loudest 'stealth' robbery ever bungled.

Director Shonteff made The Million Eyes Of Su Maru (67) with Bond girl Shirley Eaton and mind blowing Bond abortion/comedy Licence To Kill (79) with Garath Hunt.