Colour, 16mm jungle sex swings from a vine and dangles its leafy salami in your face. Chris Robin is Jayne, a blonde airhead in a fur bikini who goes for a scrub in a stream. A man in a monkey suit (Al Martin) attacks the damp and terrified lady until Tarzan (the aptly branded Duane Prodd) shows up and stabs the manky monkey in the balls with a jungle knife.
Freddie Kruger has his Elm Street, Jason Vorhees has his lake, and in this, spry, fake-ass 'behind the scenes' feature we meet Leslie Vernon of Glenn Echo, Oregon—a soon to be infamous 'supernatural' serial killer who is shown prepping his legend, working out and explaining the hows and whys of his chosen profession to a student film crew who follow him around.
In 18th century Japan, Lord Sodom's bride to be is killed by voodoo so he accuses and kills two of his maids who curse him and his family before checking out. Lord Sodom's eyes then vanish and he goes mad and butchers his wedding guests.
A purposefully trashy throwback to the grindhouse exploitation flicks of the 70‘s, Bitch Slap manages to be surprisingly entertaining. I expected the film to be terrible, especially if compared the brilliant blaxploitation parody of Black Dynamite. It’s not quite in the same league as Black Dynamite, but it isn’t a straight parody; it’s more of a loving homage to the genre. More than anything, Bitch Slap is about breasts, asses, and violence.
Produced by Burning Angel.com, if you have a few, scant, sweaty minutes to spare, why not piss them away completely by pressing play on this ratty, sordid XXX version of Brian Yuzna's gore gem Reanimator (84).
One time TV Superman and presenter of Ripley's Believe It Or Not, Dean 'I smell dead people' Cain comes back from a jungle mission (along with his entire platoon) in a body bag. But, thanks to zombie scorpions (yep, really), Dean and his squad are not entirely dead and wake up all infected 'n' chit at an army airbase where they quickly go on a man-eating rampage.
This bizarre Filipino fantasy film contains all sorts of things that sound interesting. Laser guns, flaming swords, martial arts, demons, irritating talking horses, ape/ninjas, and an interestingly dressed gay man-creature who calls himself Super Bird.
The Spermulites of the planet Spermula are threatened by a bigger, tougher planet. So, needing a new space ball to call home, the weedy Spermulon leader ‘Big Mother’ sends some Spermulonion beings (in female earth human disguise) to earth so they can suck up all the male human sperm they can get their lips on. No, I ain’t fucking high, that’s the odd plot of this quite arty, certainly fartsy outer-space boot-knocking opera from erotic French producer Bernard Lenteric.
A movie featuring an entire class getting STD's from a teacher—and each other—sounds like it would be a grim fable or a shocking attempt at humor. Dasepo Naughty Girls (based on a Korean web comic) manages to avoid being either by incorporating some of both. Add in some very entertaining and cute song & dance numbers and you get a film that is sometimes poignant, frequently hilarious, and hugely enjoyable. Dasepo Naughty Girls is a wickedly funny high school romp. If you're going to watch one high school musical, I strongly recommend this one.
A subdued Anthony Wong (Ebola Syndrome—96) stars as Yu Siu Bo, a humble herb doctor who quietly tends to patients in a low key part of Hong Kong - or so it appears. Coz, along with his sexy daughter (Gillian Chung) and his bouncy son (director Fung), Wong (who does a Bruce Lee impression) is actually a retired super-spy kung fu master that batters flying ninjas and terrorists in amazing fight scenes which’ll remind you plenty of The Matrix (99). Mainly because the fight choreography is by Yuen Woo Ping.