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Martial Arts

Beyond the Lost World: The Alien Conspiracy

Beyond the Lost WorldSome films inspire people to do things. At their best, they can inspire deep feelings, heartfelt actions, and art beyond the film itself.

Beyond the Lost World might actually accomplish some of these things, but not because it sets out to do so. No, it might inspire feelings, but they'll probably be rage or depression. It might inspire actions, such as throwing your copy of the film on a roaring fire. And it might inspire art, but only because a viewer will think “Jesus, I can make something better than this movie.”

A Dangerous Man

A Dangerous Man

It’s no secret that most of Steven Seagal’s straight to video efforts stink. There have been a few that manage to rise above abysmal and can be watched without cursing everyone involved in making the film. Ruslan and The Keeper fall into this category; while they’re not likely to make any new Seagal fans, they at least offer some entertaining violence, and Seagal actually seemed to show up to the set for work most of the time.

Blood: The Last Vampire

Blood: The Last Vampire

Saya isn’t your average Japanese schoolgirl; while she looks 16 she’s actually going on 400 years old. These things happen when you’re part vampire.

Rollergator

Rollergator

Rollergator is sort of a zen film; absolutely nothing of interest happens. It just sits there existing for an hour and a half.

Bitch Slap

Bitch SlapA purposefully trashy throwback to the grindhouse exploitation flicks of the 70‘s, Bitch Slap manages to be surprisingly entertaining. I expected the film to be terrible, especially if compared the brilliant blaxploitation parody of Black Dynamite. It’s not quite in the same league as Black Dynamite, but it isn’t a straight parody; it’s more of a loving homage to the genre. More than anything, Bitch Slap is about breasts, asses, and violence.

Maximum Cage Fighting

Maximum Cage Fighting

You can find a worse film about mixed martial arts, but you won't want to.

Under the Gun

Under the Gun

Frank (Richard Norton, perhaps best known for Gymkata and The Octagon) is a former hockey player turned business man who just wants to sell his club and get the hell out of town. Unfortunately for him (but fortunately for us) everything that can go wrong does go wrong.

Fireball

Fireball

What happens when you mix basketball with Thai kickboxing, pipes, brass knuckles and knives? A whole lot of people get hurt; it’s so brutal that fatalities are not uncommon.

There are two ways to win the sport of Fireball—score a single basket, or be the only team with men left standing. Scoring a basket sounds easy but it becomes a lot harder when people are beating the hell out of you.

Power Kids

Power Kids

Power Kids is an awkward fusion of kids and Thai martial arts cinema. Combine one part Muay Thai with two parts sappy melodrama and you get a final product that just doesn’t measure up to other Thai action flicks.

Marked for Death

Marked for Death

Like him or laugh at him, Steven Seagal sure knew how to kick ass on-screen, and although wooden enough to make a dining table out of, he's got a blockhead appeal and a certain cinematic snap he brings to each feature.

Of course, I'm usually drunk when I press play on his movies, and it only takes me 10 seconds before I think I've seen it before—which I pretty much have seeing as all his stuff is cut from the same plot cloth—wronged hero out on his own, wanting to bust the bad guys.

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